I am very grateful to have just had a wonderful week away with my family and an opportunity to relax and reflect.

I brought Anita Moorjani’s wonderful book ‘Sensitive is the New Strong’ with me, and also had the opportunity to listen to Jo Dispenza’s latest episode on Dr Chatterjee’s podcast and I found them both very powerful on a personal level..

‘Sensitive is the new strong’ is a celebration of empaths, and the podcast is all about emotional regulation.

I don’t think I have ever considered myself as an empath until reading this book, and I have certainly never embraced my sensitive side. It was always something I felt compelled to push down.

According to Anita Moorjani, empaths are highly sensitive people who often;

‘sense the feelings of those around us and often feel the emotional needs of others stronger than our own.’

However, she also explains,

‘The more sensitive we are, the more likely we are to feel shame, guilt and discomfort when we disappoint others.’

I have always had a sense that I wanted to help people in some way with my work, but I have also found it very challenging at times.

Anita Moorjani’s work is so important. She believes the world needs more empaths to step up and help people, and I certainly agree wholeheartedly that more compassion is what the world needs.

There are certainly already many  empaths doing amazing work in the world. However, I am also aware that there are many empathetic souls stepping back, or suffering burnout because of their inability to navigate the challenges of being an empath, and this is where this book can offer a so much.. and where I would like to offer more support through my work.

I love Health Coaching, yet I still find it challenging at times. However I am starting to understand why, and I would like to support others who work in caring roles more through coaching and Heart Math.

Being an empath is very powerful quality in a coaching conversation because it allows for compassion, and heart felt meaningful human connection: it  helps people feel seen and heard, which is just so important.

However, if we are unable to separate others feelings from our own, the more challenging coaching conversations can also have a powerful negative impact on our energy, so we really need to acknowledge, and manage that carefully.

As Anita explains, the challenge empaths tend to have is;

‘a need to alleviate the problems of others because we feel what they feel, and a need to avoid the pain of feeling guilty if we disappoint them or fail to meet their expectations.

This resonates so deeply with me and this realisation is just so helpful.

More often than not, coaching boosts my energy so much and I am so grateful for the many inspiring conversations that I have had over the years.

However, in my current NHS role I have felt deep discomfort on a few occasions where I have felt unable to help people in a way I would have like to.

Looking back I was guilty of stepping out of my coaching role, which is NOT to rescue but to empower people to take care of their own health and wellbeing.

My more sensitive nature has always been something I have struggled with over the years. In fact it is what led me to run for the hills from the NHS decades ago, when I worked briefly as an Occupational Therapist in mental health. I carried a deep sense of failure from my ‘inability to cope’ for many years since…

However, thankfully my 51 year old wiser self can see more clearly and with much greater self -compassion , I can now understand that my limited life experience, and a lack of understanding of my more sensitive, empathic nature,  was always going to make it challenging for me at that time.

It seemed that I was in a no -win situation at the time–  I felt compelled to help others but felt guilty/ bad when  I couldn’t fix people, or help them to feel better.

As Anita explains the key is to embrace and acknowledge our sensitive sides.

We need acknowledge and recognise when we are giving our life force energy away by trying to ‘fix’ or ‘rescue’ people, and we need to take personal responsibility for managing our energy.

I have coaching supervision, and absolutely love the phrase that my supervisor uses at the start of each session.

‘All feelings are welcome and I am here for you, but I am not here to rescue you.’

I have met a lot of brilliant people along the way, one of whom, Su Menon, who would always say to me;

‘You have everything you already need inside you already.’

It is a powerful statement, but one that I now understand wholeheartedly. It wasn’t a personal message, it was a message for us all! I have met so many remarkable resilient people, living really challenging lives who inspire me every day, and I have seen people navigating the inevitable ups and downs of life so beautifully.

I remember asking Su one day how to navigate challenging thoughts and emotions, and she simply said ‘don’t give them too much of your attention.’

Before her yoga nidra, she would also say ‘ we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings, they are simply passing through,’ and again I have witnessed this over and over through working with many different people and now can say quite confidently ‘ you won’t always feel like this ‘this storm will pass,’

As a sensitive, empath, there is no getting away from the fact I can get overwhelmed by feelings at times!! It is why I was drawn so powerfully to Heart Math, and emotional regulation.

I have been practicing and sharing heart math for a while now, but am still very much on my own journey with it, and both Anita Moorjani’s book and Jo Dispenza’s podcast were a powerful reminder, because managing our energy and emotions are at the very heart of both.

In order to grow we all need to increase our awareness, to notice, and to be more mindful…

We need to recognise when we are losing our life force energy, and recognise uncomfortable feelings.

We then need to focus on, and make time for things that recharge our life force energy, and learn to sit with & turn down volume on uncomfortable default feelings, and practice leaning in to regenerative heart felt feelings as often as we can. This is the PRACTICE.

I am so very grateful to work with Lexi on our monthly lunch club. Lexi has taught me so beautifully how to sit with uncomfortable feelings.. to welcome them in and try to listen to what they are trying to teach her. I also love how she loves Heart Math practices as much as me.

Like Jo Dispenza says in this brilliant podcast, when we PRACTICE re-experiencing regenerative heart felt feelings such as love, compassion, gratitude and awe, they help us to feel so much better, and we start to want to feel this way more often, rather than our habitual negative depleting emotions, which keep us stuck in the past. He has conducted a huge amount of research over many years to demonstrate just how powerful these practices are and how they literally change our physiology and gene expression. However, in this podcast he simply encourages people to start to simply experiment with these practices by themselves,

He also says it is not his job to persuade people to follow his work, but to inspire people to want to, which I think is a beautiful way to conclude this blog.

It is not my job to persuade people to work with me, or to practice Heart Math, but I would certainly hope to inspire people to try it.

I would love to support other carers; to encourage them to celebrate all the wonderful gifts that make them so special, but also to support them to continue to do their vital work, through taking care of themselves and learning to manage their very precious life force energy!

If you would like to practice a little Heart Math, you would very welcome to join a free online ‘We Add Heart’ practice on the last Wednesday evening of the month. Please just send me your email and I will send you the link to join.

Deep heart felt connection makes everything possible…

As Joe Dispenza states at the end of his powerful podcast;

‘Believe in yourself.

Believe in possibility.’

Thank you for reading.

Take good care of yourself, and I really hope to see you soon,

Harriet x