I’ve been reflecting a little lately about wellbeing ahead of our next Supper Club.

My friend and fellow Health Coach, Jo Fleming, and I are hoping to invite everyone into an interesting conversation about what it really means to take care of ourselves.

We have both worked in wellbeing for many years and, over that time, I’ve come to realise that what I have enjoyed the most along the way has been all the conversations I have had, and all the connections that I have made. I think this conversational piece is why I love health coaching so much.

I qualified as a Nutritional Therapist 20 years ago, and I remember struggling with the responsibility of coming up with personalised nutritional advice. I very quickly realised that my happy place was actually somewhere else: sharing ideas, talking about healthy food and recipes, and bringing people together in small groups to share simple information and have conversations.

Later, when I spent some time cooking at yoga retreats, I discovered the same thing. It was everything around the food that I loved most: the conversations in the kitchen while preparing it, the people I met, and the connections that grew along the way.

I had also been hosting cooking evenings with a friend for a while, but once again I found myself more interested in the conversations around wellbeing than the food itself.

And so in 2018, Supper Club was born.

An opportunity to bring people together around a table, with delicious, healthy food, but also an opportunity to bring like-minded people together to enjoy each other’s company, share ideas and find a little healthy inspiration along the way.

Over the past two years, I have also had the privilege of working as a Health Coach in the NHS. When I took my first role, a friend said to me, “Think of all the conversations you will have each day.”

She was right.

My first position was maternity cover, so the conversations varied enormously. But for the past 12 months I have been working specifically within a chronic pain service, and the many conversations I have had there have taught me a huge amount about wellbeing.

One of the things I have come to appreciate most is that while we can do our best to influence our health, sometimes things go our way and sometimes they don’t.

Wellbeing, however, is something we can all reach for.

Many of the people I work with have pushed themselves to the point of pain and exhaustion. They have worked beyond their limits, put everyone else’s needs before their own, and kept going even when their bodies were telling them very clearly to slow down.

Perhaps some of it is cultural — the pressure to work harder, strive further and achieve more. Perhaps some of it is that old “stiff upper lip” mentality: ignore how you feel, don’t make a fuss and just get on with it.

Whatever the reason, I don’t think it serves us very well.

Because wellbeing shouldn’t be something we reach for when we hit rock bottom, or when we feel broken.

It should be something we are allowed to prioritise all along.

Working in chronic pain has also shown me very clearly that health and wellbeing are not always what we assume them to be. It isn’t simply about diet and exercise.

Wellbeing can be anything that gives us energy, makes us feel alive, connected or inspired.

For some people that might be movement or being outdoors. For others it might be creating something, pottering in the garden, dancing, cooking, listening to music, spending time with friends or simply sitting down with a cup of tea and having a proper conversation.

Sometimes, feeling heard and seen is a powerful thing in itself.

The truth is, we all know a lot about what helps us feel better. We are the experts in our own lives and our own health. But we rarely stop long enough to check in, notice what we need, and actually prioritise it.

And this is why conversations can be so powerful.

A colleague once described his approach beautifully:

“I focus on the person, not the pathology.”

I love this.

Because when we begin to create space for the things that bring us pleasure, connection and meaning, something can shift.

Our difficulties don’t magically disappear. Pain doesn’t necessarily disappear either. But sometimes it turns down the volume. Our attention changes. We begin to see ourselves differently — not simply as someone with a problem to be fixed, but as a whole person with needs, interests, relationships, hopes and things that bring us joy.

One patient said something to me recently that has stayed with me:

“My pain doesn’t define me.”

Johann Hari once said:

“You are not a machine with malfunctioning parts. You are a human being with unmet needs.”

I am increasingly understanding just how powerful that idea is.

So many people feel guilty about putting their needs first. But I don’t think it is about putting ourselves before everyone else.

It is about prioritising our needs as well as the needs of others.

Because if we are always at the bottom of the to-do list, our needs may never get attended to. We become depleted and exhausted, and eventually our health can suffer.

Wellbeing is something we can reach for.

It is essential.

And it is why I want to continue creating opportunities to experience it, talk about it and share it with others.

We instinctively know that connection matters to our health. I certainly feel that in my own life. I feel happiest sitting around the dinner table with my family, spending time with friends, going to a yoga or dance class together, or simply catching up over a cup of tea.

Dan Buettner, who has spent years researching longevity and the Blue Zones, talks about the importance of doing health-promoting things that we actually enjoy — ideally with like-minded people.

Put yourself in environments where you thrive.

Do things that make you feel good, with people who make you feel good.

It sounds simple, but I think it is incredibly important.

We need to make time for this stuff.

It matters.

Prioritise the things that bring you wellbeing, and find others who enjoy them too.

That, for me, is where the magic happens.

Connecting with people is so fundamental to my own wellbeing that I have struggled at times with working 1:1 with people remotely rather than face to face. It has been one of the reasons behind the difficult decision to step back from my current NHS role for a while, to make some space for my own wellbeing.

And perhaps that is a good thing.

Because I hope it will create more space for connection, for groups, for conversations and for creating safe spaces where people can simply come together.

I was so touched recently when a guest at Lunch Club told us at the end that she was grateful we had created it because she has conversations there that she doesn’t have anywhere else.

What a privilege.

And what a joy to be able to create that space with Lexi each month. We are so grateful that people choose to join us, but really, it is what people bring and share within those spaces that creates the magic.

Together is where it’s at for me.

I feel strongly that we need opportunities to pause, check in and reconnect — both with ourselves and with each other.

My work, in many different forms over the years, has increasingly become about creating the safe space for people to do just that.

To stop.

To breathe.

To listen.

To have open-hearted conversations.

To notice what they need.

To remember what makes them feel alive.

Every connection will be different. Every conversation will be unique. And that is part of the magic.

What matters is that we keep coming together to have them.

Because perhaps these conversations are not an extra.

Perhaps they are part of how we discover and create our own unique path towards wellbeing.

And I feel very strongly that people are precious. Our wellbeing deserves to be protected, nurtured and honoured.

So, at our next Supper Club, Jo and I would love to invite you to pause for a while, come to the table, share some delicious food and, most importantly, join the conversation.

Let’s explore what wellbeing means to each of us, what gives us energy, what makes us feel connected and alive, and what we might need to make a little more space for in our lives.

Because wellbeing isn’t something we should wait until we need.

It is something we can reach for now.

And, as my favourite Charley Mackesy quote of all time reminds me:

“Always remember you matter, you are important and you are loved, and you bring to the world things no one else can.’

I think that is something worth remembering — and perhaps something worth talking about, together, around a table.