I have been reflecting lately about my work  and thanks to a wonderful Cardiologist and Heart Math Coach I discovered and enjoyed the most brilliant book by Dr James Doty ‘Into the Magic Shop.’

In this remarkable true story, Dr Doty shares the lessons he has learnt from his own life that took him from adversity to a life full of everything he had ever dreamed of after a chance encounter with a kind lady called Ruth, who he met in a magic shop. The central theme to the book is the message that opening our hearts is absolutely critical to our health and happiness.

He was born into poverty and suffered unimaginable adversity as a child, but from diligently following what Ruth shared with him he created incredible wealth in adulthood, which he believed at the time would bring him happiness.  However, he omitted to embrace one critical point that Ruth shared with him, which was to ‘open his heart’. At 12  years old this was a difficult concept for him to comprehend, and as the story unfolds he shares how he lost touch with what was really important from failing to embrace this critical learning. However, through compassion and forgiveness he has learnt from his own experiences and he has now made it his life’s work to learn and teach compassion. He also created ‘The Alphabet of the Heart’ for us to return to at any point when we feel we are moving away from living from the heart.

I have been fascinated by the concept of ‘opening your heart.’ since I first heard it when I was gifted an incredible mindfulness course after I completed my Health Coach training several years ago.

I feel extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to follow my heart for many years with my work, and I am so very grateful it led me to coaching and to Heart Math. Heart Math techniques guide us to focus on and live from the heart which can be so transformative.

As Dr Doty explains;

‘The brain knows a lot, but the the simple truth is it knows a lot more when it joins with the heart.’

However, this incredible book has really helped me to deepen my understanding of the power of the heart further; in particular the power of love and connection and recognising our shared humanity.

I encourage everyone to offer themselves kindness and compassion in my work. However I am now starting to realise that the starting point is to offer ourselves compassion for our limitations first. Being non judgmental is a value I hold dear, but I think I still have a tendency to judge myself harshly at times. I have heard many people say many times, that we are all doing the best with what we have. Truly accepting ourselves for who we truly are is just so important for our wellbeing and feeling safe and secure in the world.

There are several exercises and accompanying recordings with the book, and when he invites us to open our hearts, he invites us to remember someone who gave us unconditional love by bringing to mind

‘someone who loved you for who you truly are; for all your failings, and all your gifts that make you so special.’

I found this fascinating to start with, but now I really understand the incredible power in it because when we recognise and share our challenges and shortcomings first this is what connects us all and helps us to recognise our shared humanity.

Again he explains it so beautifully;

‘I feel that each of us is connected, when I look at another, I see myself. I see my weaknesses, my failings, and my fragility. I see the power of the human spirit, and the power of the universe. I know in my deepest being that it is love that is the glue that binds each of us.’

I have seen this over and over again in my groups. My biggest role is to create a safe space for people to share how they are feeling, and the most common thing I hear is

‘I had no idea others felt this way.’ They no longer feel alone.

I also see it week after week with the incredible women in Nurture Club who support each other so beautifully. I started Nurture Club to provide healthy inspiration, and ongoing support and accountability with healthy habits. I have also recently added a practical element with a monthly healthy activity session too, which brings plenty of joy, laughter, and inspiration.

However I have often found it hard to put the benefits of Nurture Club into words. All I knew was that people repeatedly say ‘I didn’t feel like coming, but I did because I knew it would make me feel better.’ However I can now see that something that started out as a Health coaching group has become something much more important than all of  that: it has created a community of authentic social connection. Dr Doty sums up the power of authentic social connection perfectly.

‘Authentic social connection has a profound impact on your mental health- it even exceeds the value of exercise and ideal body weight on your physical health. It makes you feel good. Social connection triggers the same reward centres in your brain that are triggered when people do drugs, or drink alcohol, or eat chocolate. In other words, we get sick alone, and we get well together.’

The key word to me here is authentic.  When people feel seen and heard as their true authentic selves it is very powerful and opens the door to genuine heart felt connection. So many beautiful friendships have developed through Nurture Club, and is an honour and a privilege to witness the love and compassion that is shared between these incredible women.

I can now see clearly  two most important ways that Nurture Club helps people to feel better. It is because it creates a safe space for people to feel truly accepted for who they really are, but it also creates a space for people to take care of each other.

As Dr Doty explains;

‘The only way to truly change and transform your life for the better is by transforming and changing the lives of others.’

If you would like to find out more about my upcoming groups, or more information about Nurture Club please do get in touch. I would love to bring as many women as I can together as possible to create happier healthier lives for themselves and each other.

In the meantime, I would like to leave you with one final quote by the brilliant Dr James Doty who is really transforming lives with his work.

‘My relationships with my patients have changed. I make more time to listen, and I try to open my heart to each one of them. I listen to their symptoms and I listen to their hearts- not with a stethoscope, but with my own heart.’

I am meeting more and more Doctors who are approaching their work in this way and it fills my heart with inspiration and hope.

Opening the heart really is the only path to true health and wellbeing for all.

I am so grateful to have found this book and to finally have a clearer understanding of how my work really helps people. It has always been my mission to bring women together and to support them to make choices that help them to feel better. This will always be central to my work. However I can now see clearly the true power of my work which is to create the space for people create genuine authentic heart felt connection.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I really hope to see you soon.

In the meantime, please take good care of yourselves.

Much love,

Harriet x