Butterflies in my tummy

I have those butterflies in my tummy again and have woken early from my sleep. I have known these feelings frequently throughout my life… Sometimes it’s a fear, but it’s also often also excitement of something about to happen. I smile as I remember my excitement on my wedding day… that was an early start for sure. Luckily, I was staying in a beautiful Hotel in Soho where I’d worked for years, so I had company, a cup of tea and a large bookcase of books to try to distract me. I smile fondly as I remember that day, and I laugh as I think ‘well I didn’t want to miss a moment of it did I?!!’

This morning I must admit to a less positive response to an early start. Those butterflies are less welcome. I want to be asleep! But I smile in quiet acceptance, and gently tell myself you’ll catch up on that sleep tomorrow. (Or was it my Mum who said that…) But it is true. You see I’m on this journey of taking life as it comes a bit more…

My high expectations of myself have reared their head briefly again as I begin to coach. I want to be that expert before I’ve barely started those first tentative steps…

So, it’s time perhaps to pause a little, to breathe, and to smile. Awareness, and acceptance are what I need right now. OK, I am apprehensive, but that’s OK. It’s natural! We all want to do the best we can, of course we do when something is so important to us.

Certainly, we can all benefit from treating ourselves with the same kindness and compassion we would a good friend. Perhaps then it’s time to trust my own intuition, and to view myself with curiosity, not judgement. To trust that I am doing the best I can.

You see, we can learn a lot from ourselves if we stop to listen. We don’t have to wait for that moment to ‘Be a certain way.’ Often people think ‘I will be happy when I’ve….’ Often people are always striving to become a future idealised version of themselves.

I think coaching can have a huge impact, but its true value is in helping people to become aware of what they already have and what they are capable of. We can be that ‘future idealised version of ourselves’ right now if we choose.

So maybe it’s just time to pause a little, relax a little, and just trust that it will all be OK.






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