Choose to be happier. CHOOSE LOVE

I love taking a moment between Christmas and New Year to reflect on what I have learnt throughout the year. I am so grateful to be on a continued journey of growth and learning through my work, and it feels like this year has been particularly special.

I have been inspired every week by the incredible women in Nurture Club, and from all the brilliant speakers at our monthly Supper Club.

I have witnessed just how powerful creating a culture of kindness and compassion in the workplace really is from spending time working with the special staff at St Wulfstan’s Surgery.

I have also learnt so much from starting to share Heart Math techniques 1:1 and in groups, and absolutely loved collaborating with my dear, heart-centred friend Lexi, on our first ever ‘Lunch from the heart’ event.

Most of all I have learnt just how critical living from the heart is for our wellbeing.

I really can’t wait to share HeartMath with more people in 2024, and to collaborate with Lexi more on our ‘Better Together Brunch’ and Lunch clubs in 2024, because it is clear to me that the heart is very much where it is at when it comes to wellbeing.

Choose Happiness. Choose Love.

I am extremely fortunate to have been brought up surrounded by love and to have been taught how to share it willingly.

I count my blessings daily that I am surrounded by love and kindness from my family, friends, and all the communities I live and work in.

As I reflect on my blog this time last year, love and joy were again very much the theme of my writing back then.

However, it is nice to reflect on another year where this has become more evident!

Everyone has strived to be happier at some point. Many people feel that they will be happier… ‘when….. they find the perfect job/partner/ etc…’

In our society we seem to put so much emphasis on what we ‘do’ career wise. Some of the incredible women in my Nurture Club struggle with their identity as a mother/ family carer and home maker..

However, we all know deep down that LOVE is all that really matters! Being a kind compassionate human is the most important role of all., and the women of Nurture club are shining examples.

I loved listening to Dr Chatterjee’s compilation podcast on connection just this week, and to hear a clip from Dr Julian Abel ‘s wonderful episode

Dr Able is a retired palliative care physician and he always asked his patients to.

‘Have a think about the people you really appreciate the most, and why you appreciate them, and people would say… ‘It’s all about their love and kindness.’

It is a shame that we need reminding, but it is so true that people love you for WHO you are, not for what you DO.

He also asked, ‘Has the love and kindness diminished in you even though you are not able to do the things you usually do?’

And of course, the answer was ‘No’. I am reminded of this daily as I watch in awe as my dear friend with a life limiting condition demonstrate so powerfully that the one thing that is available to all of us in whatever circumstance is our ability to choose to love every time.

The very kind Dr Kirti Viswanathan from St Wulfstan’s gifted me with a beautiful book ‘Build the Life You Want.’ and again the conclusions come back to love.

In the closing chapter, Arthur C Brooks writes,

’ “…Start each day saying, ‘

I don’t know what today will bring, but I will love others and allow myself to be loved….


…. Whenever you are wondering what to do in a particular situation…- ask, ‘What is the most loving thing to do right now.’”

The book is clear to point out that becoming happier is not the easy path. It takes time, commitment, and practice. He is also clear.

‘Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction. We won’t find complete happiness on this side of heaven, but no matter where each of is in life, we can all be happier.’

Becoming ‘happier’ through love is a wonderful intention and one that I certainly subscribe to.

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to do the HeartMath coach course this year, and to have started to share the tools with people.

I shared the start of my HeartMath journey in a previous blog and I am glad to add to that here.

I previously wrote about the HeartMath breathwork techniques that can be so transformative for people.

However, I am learning daily about the power of the emotional regulation aspect of HeartMath, which is also described so beautifully in ‘Build the Life you Want.’

In the book, Arthur C Brooks explains.

“Emotions are only signals.

And you get to decide how you’ll respond to them.

The emotion is the tap on the shoulder, the elbow nudge in your side. 

What you do about it is completely your call.”

He also encourages people to journal their feelings morning and night, which is also an important practice in HeartMath. It is only when we pause to recognise how we are feeling that we can make a conscious choice of whether we want to feel that way.

One of our wonderful Nurture Club members also recommended the ‘3 Minute Positivity Journal this year, and again each morning, it prompts you to consider daily ‘how you are feeling?’ and ‘how do you want to feel?’ I can’t recommend it enough!

These techniques are not about pushing down or ignoring negative feelings. They are about becoming aware of our feelings and choosing how to respond to them. Negative feelings have the power to overwhelm us at times. Approaching those feelings with love and self- compassion is much more helpful than allowing them to overwhelm us.

Everyone’s wellbeing journey will be very different, but if there is one thing, I have learnt this year it is that intention is everything!

If you would like to make any wellbeing intention next year, I would urge you to consider making love at the very heart of it, because choosing love has always and will always be what matters most!

As my favourite author, Charlie MacKesy puts so beautifully,

 ‘I have realised why we are here’ whispered the boy, ‘To love, and to be loved. 

Share this:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to my blog