The power of coaching really lies in the power of creating a much needed safe ‘space’ for people. When you provide a safe space for people, they are suddenly able to access real clarity. Everyone knows intuitively what they need, they just often don’t allow themselves the space they need to access it!
When I am coaching, I often find myself encouraging people to make space to ‘pause’. I have shifted from ‘slowing down’ to ‘find the pause’ because I think is more achievable and sustainable.
However, finding ‘the pause’ still seems to be the most challenging action step for people to take.
So why is it just so difficult?
Could it be that everyone is simply rushing through life at lightning speed, always striving to achieve a particular goal or outcome? Could it be that we all have that unhelpful voice in our heads that tells us we only ‘deserve’ it when we have done ‘enough’? Or could it be that we are unconsciously trying to avoid discomfort or uncomfortable feelings by using distractions or unhelpful habits.
Whatever the reason, living life at lightning speed, and resisting discomfort prevents us from being ‘at ease’ with life. As we busy ourselves and work hard to avoid discomfort, we are resisting life and all its ups and downs. There will simply never be a time when ‘everything is done’ and it is not possible to avoid discomfort. Things we ignore in life, only tend to get more intense, or to shout a little louder.
So, have you ever considered what the impact creating a little regular pause might have? How do you feel when you finally do allow yourself to rest a little? How do you feel when you finally allow yourself to ‘rest’ over the weekend, or on holiday? Usually, we feel rejuvenated and energised and we have a renewed enthusiasm for life. Very often we can view life with renewed clarity and perspective.
So, how good would it be to access this more often? If only we could create small ‘moments’ during each day to do this, we would feel rejuvenated and enthusiastic again, experience a renewed energy, and gain that all important clarity and perspective on life.
So often at Lisa Valentine’s wonderful yoga retreats I hear people saying, ‘Why don’t we do this more often?’ I have seen and experienced the transformative effects of her magical retreats and would highly recommend them to everyone. However, I think it could also be incredibly powerful if people learn to take a little bit of that magic into their daily lives.
Of course, whatever that looks like will be unique to that individual. My role is to help people see that life isn’t about the extremes- if we let go of the ‘all or nothing’ approach to life suddenly we have more options… if we can’t make an hour yoga class, maybe we could still fit in a ten minute sequence and experience all the benefits it brings more consistently. If we have a busy day, a two-minute breathing practice in the middle of the day can be powerfully re- energising! A short walk around the block can have the power to give us much needed clarity and perspective.
Creating regular ‘moments’ like this can provide us a little bit of space to reflect on how we are feeling, what we might need, or what actions to take in any given moment.
If you gave yourself the space to pause and reflect even for a moment, it is likely you would know exactly what you need. It is also highly likely that the feelings of discomfort might ease as they have less power over you.
However, making change can be hard, which is where support and accountability can be incredibly helpful. Sometimes we need a little encouragement to instil that new habit, and we often find it extremely helpful to have someone cheering us along as we do.
My role as a coach is very much about holding that safe space for people as they create change with tiny actions and habits. It is also about helping them to see the incredible impact doing this regularly can have on the quality of their lives.
I would invite you all to pause and consider how you are feeling right now. If you are not in the habit of finding your ‘pause’, I would imagine your energy levels might be flagging a little. If that, is you, I would also invite you to consider what impact having more energy might have on all aspects of your life?
Finally, I would invite you to consider what needs to change, and what might be one small step you could take towards that?
Sounds simple enough! However, we have already established that making changes is hard. It takes patience and self-compassion, because it can take time to change the habit of a lifetime!
So, go gentle on yourself, and if you need some support and accountability, you know where I am!
If you would like to join Lisa and I in June for a wonderful yoga retreat, with a live harpist, and wonderful food, in the most beautiful Warwickshire setting of Primrose Hill Farm, we would be delighted to see you. I will be leading a short coaching session on how you might take that calm magic home with you, and we will also reflect on how we can work with the seasons to manage our energy levels. Please click on this link for more information. Summer Retreat Day
In the meantime, please give yourself the gift of a little space to pause.
I promise you will thank me for it!